Apologies

I'm no good at this.

I've gotten too used to working alone. To being alone. I hole myself up, as it has become my way, and I do my work peacefully and quietly. I make myself small. It's not like it used to be. I am not the man that I used to be. Because of this, nothing gets done. Nothing has gotten done, except one incredibly rushed, incredibly botched job.

This is unprofessional. It's not what I wanted this operation to be about, not us, not me. Our feelings don't factor into the thing.

But of course, they do. They always have, or we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here, if I hadn't felt so strongly about the thing. You can't always get what you want, and I was a fool to think this would turn out exactly as I planned it in my head. I've so long been by myself, enacting small-scale work that always goes right, that I've forgotten what it is to do something bigger. Something better.

So I'm apologizing, here, for the lack of updates and work on our part. On my part. I'm apologizing for my failures.

Going forward, our priority will be jobs. No more, no less. Our duty is to the community, and I intend for us to serve it as best we can. That, at least, I would like to go as planned. Ellen has a private delivery she is about to leave for, in a day or two, and that is partially what inspired this post. However many resources I possess, it is our ragtag group that holds this operation together, and our personal convictions and considerations are an important part of that. I've been denying that for too long, and I believe I should have listened to Ellen sooner on this matter. She has been telling me all along that each of us brings unique, human aspects to this Courier business. If we don't address that directly, we will fail, as the Couriers before us failed. My mistake was in seeking to avoid our humanity altogether, as they did not, rather than facing it, embracing it, doing what I can to avoid the problems associated with it.

While I cannot change what has come before, and how I have failed the community recently, I can hope to correct this mistake in the future. I hope that you will all be patient as I, and my team, try to work out the kinks in our operation, as well as the kinks in our own selves, which significantly change the nature of how we work.

I am not alone. And I am not small. I can do something greater than myself, greater than the things I have been involved with in the past. Although it may turn out differently than I imagine, it is no less important that it be done, and I will work together with many others to make it happen. My team, the community, and those of you still looking to this blog for any reason at all as well. Here's to hoping all goes well, if nothing else.

-Malcolm

Oh, Right.

I'm back by the way.

Cue the prayer!

Master keep me, Fire guide me, 
I charge forward to fight the foe just beyond me,
For if I don't strike they'll find and consume me.

Vast Barren Silence, hear me. My light will expunge thee.

This compulsion compels me so they'll know how to resist ye.
And thus I write.

Fos tin Katharí




Sure no ones tired of that already or anything. I've decided the prayer is mandatory. It is through these blogs that we pay homage to Father and as a proud proxy I feel the need to be blunt about it.

Total transparency for the win!


... Or something I guess. Whatever.

I've been back for like... ever now. Or maybe I haven't!

Wooooooo... Myyyyysssssttttteeeerrrrrrryyyyy.

Or something.


I've intentionally delayed this post to obscure how long it takes for me to get from here to the Free Market. Rest Assured, it did not take me 15 fucking days to go there and have a conversation before coming back.

I don't know that knowing how long it actually took me to get there and back would be like... useful or something but I do know that information is power and power is best kept under ones nose where no one would ever think to check!

See, they always check like blogs, or books, or your brains or something for the useful information. No sane person would ever check your nose. So suck on that nerds. Checkmate. King me. Queen Me. Then Yahtzee me. Its six sixes on my fucking checkered board.

Hahahahahaha!

My brilliance aside, I got to see my sister Navi.

That was cool.

I showed up at the Free Market and immediately went into hiding. Picasso is supposedly bedridden but I don't take any fucking chances. Mutilation is not fun.

I called up Sloth, our glorious leader and untrustible dirt-bag. Lord Betrayer Sloth seems to be doing good. Hes got a violent, bitchy, whiny, Mexican thug glued to his side but its a good look for him. It seems to be keeping him death free so that's good.

Said bitch, hereafter referred to as the Lord Goddess Nat or Nat for short, has resumed my old duty of beating on insubordinate masks to keep them under thumb. Which is good because shes fucking strong. We fought a few rounds and I was not disappointed... in her fighting. I was quite disappointed in her sour attitude but the fighting as top notch. I seemed to be the only one having fun though...

Shes also totally jealous of my singing which is not at all flattering in the company one keeps. ;p



I of course did actually visit Navi while I was there. She ambushed me and tried to choke me out. When I broke free of that things devolved into a fist fight fight and... well I knocked her out. Shes not much for a fist fight. Might have been different if she had come at me with her sword... because I didn't see her coming and being stabbed in the back fucking sucks. So... pretty happy with how that went.

We actually talked in the morning. She was surprised to find I was a proxy, which didn't surprise me at all. Dad wanted her kept in the dark and no force on this earth was ever going to get me to go back to that fucking house once I was finally out and serving Father so I never really got a chance to spill the beans to her.

We spent a little bit of time talking about how unbelievable and awe inspiring Father is. She calls him 'the Master'. That's fucking adorable. I would take that up but I think Rat Man would finally snap and run me through. He pretty on edge with me already and I've been \trying\ to be nicer to him. Pretty sure that hasn't been working.

Did pass a long my final important piece of wisdom to Navi before I finally returned to the Couriers.

'Oh yeah. By the way... Moms pissed you killed dad. Like really pissed. When I was raiding the house for my inheritance I found your name written in blood with death threats on all the walls. At first I was pretty sure I was hallucinating but then I found the bodies and I'm pretty sure those were real. I'm pretty sure she was practicing... pretty sure she intends to hunt and kill you.'

You should have seen Navi's jaw drop. I'm surprised anything surprises her at this point.

But look at me. I'm like rambling and shit.

Can't have that. Suffice to say, Navi has been warned. I've done my duty as her sibling. In fact I did her one better. I gave her my cell number. Told her if she ever found mom and wanted help dealing with her to just give me a call. God forbid our mom should find her first... mutilation is not fun.

That concludes the trip.

Back with the couriers now, naturally.

Not that I really came back to much. These fuckers are so sllllloooowwww. Everyone here is wrapped up in their own little agendas and nothing is getting done. I thought at first maybe it was my fault for leaving for so long but for the vague amount of time that I have actually been back they have still managed to accomplish nothing so this is so not my fucking fault... and honestly that concerns me.

Ivan out.

Navi

First a quick prayer:

Master keep me, Fire guide me, 
I charge forward to fight the foe just beyond me,
For if I don't strike they'll find and consume me.

Vast Barren Silence, hear me. My light will expunge thee.

This compulsion compels me so they'll know how to resist ye.
And thus I write.

Fos tin Katharí



Heart warming isn't it? Fate favors the faithful. This I know, for I always tell me so.

My grammar are so good.





Rambling. I should stop rambling.

I'm taking a trip. I'm not really supposed to leave the Courier... compound thing but apparently the Free Market is under new management. If this is to be believed, shittier management than I could have ever fucking dreamed. I mean, don't get me wrong. Nat is a solid pick to head up the now all female roster of insanely hateful bitches that run the Free Market's sub-Divisions. Sloth, however, is a shitty pick for anything that puts him over another living soul. I know I will not be taking a knee out of loyalty in presence of the Betrayer. I give the fucker a week before someone slices his throat open and leaves him face down in a ditch. Not even a Godddes could hope to save that shit head. Hes in way over his head.

Anyways, I figure I can take advantage of this development to go visit my sister Navi. Shes the filthy runner Picasso and Moth picked up from Black lake. The one who helped them destroy the place.

She was supposed to be being kept at home for safety or some shit but since she killed Dad and Mom is on the loose I think she might actually be safer joining the family business. So here's hoping that goes over well.

If anyone needs anything, let me know. The courier gig comes first. I'll come running back like a bat nose diving back into hell.

Oh, and Rat Fuck I would like to take this moment to remind you that I've had sex. Eat a dick.

Ivan out.

Advertising

It's been longer than I would have liked since you've heard from any of us. My apologies for that. In the wake of what was honestly a disastrous first mission, I have been attempting to pick up the pieces and restructure our organization some, behind the scenes. I am a closed doors kind of person by nature. It isn't that I have anything to hide, of course about the way we operate. I hope to continue being transparent about that. But I prefer to keep my affairs quietly in order, without commentary from the peanut gallery. Humans in groups have the remarkable ability to see things incorrectly, no matter the facts.

This is beside the point.

Right now, the important thing is that people know they can expect better from us. So, in the next few days, several things are going to happen:

• This blog will see a variety of new pages and links open up, including a 'Helpful Resources' page, a page dedicated to what we here at Rain or Snow are capable of acquiring for delivery, and an updated terms of service page detailing how we as an organization do what we do.
• Advertising. I apologize for the groan-inducing spam-fest that is about to take place, but it can't be helped. The word must spread. I have intel which suggests many of those troubled by the Fears lurk, but never post on these blogs. Some of them see, but do not interact, for one reason or another. These people must be reached, and so my team will be commenting on as many blogs as we can find about our service.

          -Again, I am so, so sorry for that.

That is all at this time. If those of you who read this blog have any questions, I would be pleased to answer them. I want to put a FAQ page on this blog, but I can't exactly do that with out questions being asked, now can I?

-Malcolm

Be back soon

Maximum two days. I've got a personal project I need to work on. Nobody touch my files while I'm out unless you want to lose a hand. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. Yes, I can tell.  You know how to get in contact if I need to come back early to patch someone up or someone needs to... talk.

Ffd, R'b xaqbdnfp di mtd vqgbtnm wmhbf Ajigqq'l Hsve. Yhz's ljfm piramx fxctm fq, hm'qd sjnm yzdj swnjgq sajjn gvunhm. N ujc otwd vfjn da fkrxqx.

You Can Skip This One

Its just gonna be a few paragraphs of me bitching and worrying.

Seriously. I bet it'll put you to sleep or something. I'm getting bored and dozing off myself just sitting here thinking about what I want to say. Painfully disinteresting. In fact, if there hadn't been a giant eye staring me down on my TV for the last 12 hours I probably would have passed out a long time ago. I am exhausted.

Although I probably would have just turned off the TV after the first hour if it wasn't going on and on about how cute I am. Priorities. Sleep can wait. I'm being pampered.

Lets take this moment real quick to say a short prayer for Father.




Master keep me, Fire guide me, 
I charge forward to fight the foe just beyond me,
For if I don't strike they'll find and consume me.

Vast Barren Silence, hear me. My light will expunge thee.

This compulsion compels me so they'll know how to resist ye.
And thus I write.

Fos tin Katharí




And now that that's done, I should get back to the topic at hand. Bitching and worrying.

I don't know that I agree with Ellen on giving Anna the information. I mean, that was pretty fucked up. Down right betrayal on Anna's part. And we had the moral high ground before. The terms of the delivery was something Incognito was super into right up until they fucked him over. But giving Anna his side of the delivery anyways speaks very poorly on us. Dishonorable. Disrespectful. Its... in bad taste, much like this post.

But fuck it. Whatever. Its done. Incognito and Anna are both trash in my book and I hope they destroy each other. I confidently say as such because I know the two of them wish me much worse for being a proxy. As if what I do is so much worse than the shit they do.

For the record, in my ten years as a proxy, I have never offed a runner. Smoke that down your pipes while you're up on your high fucking horses.

But look at me again, awkwardly lashing out in preemptive self defense at a lifeless computer screen. Having arguments with people who aren't here and can't respond. Madness. The TV agrees with me. We also both agree that I'm smart and awesome. So suck on that while you're at it.

Shifting back to something more on topic, I understand why Ellen would side with Anna. Ellen has a bit of a reputation for keeping secrets for the sake of others whether they like it or not. But quiet frankly, it doesn't make it any less fucked up in my book when Ellen does it either. Because I don't play favorites. Fucked is fucked.

Lets bitch about Ellen some more. I don't know how I feel about her roaming about on her own. I understand she goes stir crazy. I fucking live stir crazy. I get it. But if shes half as dangerous as I've been constantly assured she is by both herself and others, then I think she really should have an attendant on her.

And yes, I understand shes a big girl. She can take care of herself... but its not her safety I'm honestly worried about.

I don't know. Maybe its just me. My dad always said I was far to overbearing. Especially when it came to my sister. After all, she was never gonna get any stronger if I took all her beatings for her. But logically knowing that never made it any easier to watch. So who knows, maybe I'm just being way overbearing in regards to Ellen right now. Hard to say.

And lets bring my final whiny aside up, this job is boring. I assumed when I was assigned to protect a group of runners from dangerous fear cults both foreign and domestic, see 'rival fear cults' and 'other proxies', that it was gonna be a more proactive job.

I was delighted when I found out it was the new couriers. One, Courier is a kick ass title in my book. It carried a lot of weight amongst proxies I knew back at the Free Market Compound if nothing else. And two,  the original Couriers were notorious for getting themselves into incredible amounts of fucking trouble. Which meant, in theory, that I'd have no shortage of fights win and shitheads to kill.

But I've spent the last month locked away in this base doing fuck all... talking with a TV about how strong I am.

And while I'm enjoying the constant pep talk, I want some action.

Ivan out.

Sorry, Not Sorry

So, I don't live in headquarters like the others. I travel the rest of the time. I don't like being stuck in one place all the time, and right now we don't do enough deliveries to get me out consistently. I have friends I like to visit, things I like to do alone. I don't like being domestic for extended periods of time. For short bursts, it's fantastic. I come in, I cook enough food for an army, I freeze it, and then I want to get the hell out. When I start feeling the urge to wear an apron or bleach the counters, it's time to go because I have completely lost my shit. Mal knows this, he's known me for years. So I left the morning after Mal's mission report. He expected that. What he didn't expect was what ELSE I did.

Mal, I took the files. Incognito, I know you put a stop order on the delivery, but I couldn't let that happen. Call me biased, call me a bitch, call me unreliable, but I know Anna pretty well. We've been friends for a while. I know how much she was counting on that info. So I got it to her. I finished the delivery, indirectly. Anna and Daniel are a little busy right now, so I dropped the files with a trusted friend of both of ours. Not sure if I ever told her I'd met him before, but it was fantastic to see him again.

I'm a bit busy with him tonight, but I just wanted to drop a note to say delivery completed and sorry Mal.