I'm back by the way.
Cue the prayer!
Master keep me, Fire guide me,
I charge forward to fight the foe just beyond me,
For if I don't strike they'll find and consume me.
Vast Barren Silence, hear me. My light will expunge thee.
This compulsion compels me so they'll know how to resist ye.
And thus I write.
Fos tin Katharí
Sure no ones tired of that already or anything. I've decided the prayer is mandatory. It is through these blogs that we pay homage to Father and as a proud proxy I feel the need to be blunt about it.
Total transparency for the win!
... Or something I guess. Whatever.
I've been back for like... ever now. Or maybe I haven't!
Wooooooo... Myyyyysssssttttteeeerrrrrrryyyyy.
Or something.
I've intentionally delayed this post to obscure how long it takes for me to get from here to the Free Market. Rest Assured, it did not take me 15 fucking days to go there and have a conversation before coming back.
I don't know that knowing how long it actually took me to get there and back would be like... useful or something but I do know that information is power and power is best kept under ones nose where no one would ever think to check!
See, they always check like blogs, or books, or your brains or something for the useful information. No sane person would ever check your nose. So suck on that nerds. Checkmate. King me. Queen Me. Then Yahtzee me. Its six sixes on my fucking checkered board.
Hahahahahaha!
My brilliance aside, I got to see my sister Navi.
That was cool.
I showed up at the Free Market and immediately went into hiding. Picasso is supposedly bedridden but I don't take any fucking chances. Mutilation is not fun.
I called up Sloth, our glorious leader and untrustible dirt-bag. Lord Betrayer Sloth seems to be doing good. Hes got a violent, bitchy, whiny, Mexican thug glued to his side but its a good look for him. It seems to be keeping him death free so that's good.
Said bitch, hereafter referred to as the Lord Goddess Nat or Nat for short, has resumed my old duty of beating on insubordinate masks to keep them under thumb. Which is good because shes fucking strong. We fought a few rounds and I was not disappointed... in her fighting. I was quite disappointed in her sour attitude but the fighting as top notch. I seemed to be the only one having fun though...
Shes also totally jealous of my singing which is not at all flattering in the company one keeps. ;p
I of course did actually visit Navi while I was there. She ambushed me and tried to choke me out. When I broke free of that things devolved into a fist fight fight and... well I knocked her out. Shes not much for a fist fight. Might have been different if she had come at me with her sword... because I didn't see her coming and being stabbed in the back fucking sucks. So... pretty happy with how that went.
We actually talked in the morning. She was surprised to find I was a proxy, which didn't surprise me at all. Dad wanted her kept in the dark and no force on this earth was ever going to get me to go back to that fucking house once I was finally out and serving Father so I never really got a chance to spill the beans to her.
We spent a little bit of time talking about how unbelievable and awe inspiring Father is. She calls him 'the Master'. That's fucking adorable. I would take that up but I think Rat Man would finally snap and run me through. He pretty on edge with me already and I've been \trying\ to be nicer to him. Pretty sure that hasn't been working.
Did pass a long my final important piece of wisdom to Navi before I finally returned to the Couriers.
'Oh yeah. By the way... Moms pissed you killed dad. Like really pissed. When I was raiding the house for my inheritance I found your name written in blood with death threats on all the walls. At first I was pretty sure I was hallucinating but then I found the bodies and I'm pretty sure those were real. I'm pretty sure she was practicing... pretty sure she intends to hunt and kill you.'
You should have seen Navi's jaw drop. I'm surprised anything surprises her at this point.
But look at me. I'm like rambling and shit.
Can't have that. Suffice to say, Navi has been warned. I've done my duty as her sibling. In fact I did her one better. I gave her my cell number. Told her if she ever found mom and wanted help dealing with her to just give me a call. God forbid our mom should find her first... mutilation is not fun.
That concludes the trip.
Back with the couriers now, naturally.
Not that I really came back to much. These fuckers are so sllllloooowwww. Everyone here is wrapped up in their own little agendas and nothing is getting done. I thought at first maybe it was my fault for leaving for so long but for the vague amount of time that I have actually been back they have still managed to accomplish nothing so this is so not my fucking fault... and honestly that concerns me.
Ivan out.
