Sorry, Not Sorry

So, I don't live in headquarters like the others. I travel the rest of the time. I don't like being stuck in one place all the time, and right now we don't do enough deliveries to get me out consistently. I have friends I like to visit, things I like to do alone. I don't like being domestic for extended periods of time. For short bursts, it's fantastic. I come in, I cook enough food for an army, I freeze it, and then I want to get the hell out. When I start feeling the urge to wear an apron or bleach the counters, it's time to go because I have completely lost my shit. Mal knows this, he's known me for years. So I left the morning after Mal's mission report. He expected that. What he didn't expect was what ELSE I did.

Mal, I took the files. Incognito, I know you put a stop order on the delivery, but I couldn't let that happen. Call me biased, call me a bitch, call me unreliable, but I know Anna pretty well. We've been friends for a while. I know how much she was counting on that info. So I got it to her. I finished the delivery, indirectly. Anna and Daniel are a little busy right now, so I dropped the files with a trusted friend of both of ours. Not sure if I ever told her I'd met him before, but it was fantastic to see him again.

I'm a bit busy with him tonight, but I just wanted to drop a note to say delivery completed and sorry Mal.

Aside

Yes, I do paperwork for us.

That is all there is to report at this time. Very shortly, this blog will be seeing updates to its layout, to ensure that our future clients receive the best possible experience with us. It is my hope that more information about how we operate will inspire people to see us as a trustworthy organization to do business with. Hence my posting this mission report here, in addition to storing a paper copy in my office.

You'll hear more from us soon.

-Malcolm

Mission Report - #001

After a more lengthy stay in Moscow than originally intended, Ellen and I have finally returned to the Rain or Snow home base. This is my report of events pertaining to our first delivery, an exchange of physical copies of information, between one Miss Annalee and one Mr. Incognito.

We were first contacted on Sunday July 10th, by Miss Annalee, inquiring as to whether we had the means to exchange information between her and a 'colleague' in another country. Russia, to be precise. Once she was informed that we did have the necessary resources to do so, formal arrangements were made between she, Mr. Incognito, and ourselves.

Chief among these formal arrangements was the necessary agreement to secrecy regarding the exact contents of the information being exchanged between Miss Annalee and Mr. Incognito. It was established early on that, for our own safety and for the safety of the two clients, we would not in any way be privy to the exact details enclosed in each 'package'. This was, of course, what allowed Miss Annalee to get away with a bait and switch; the information delivered to Mr. Incognito was of no value to him, and was merely a note apologizing for the deception. Whether this is an error in our judgement or in the judgement of our clients is irrelevant: future negotiations will have to account for this incident and it should be considered when working on the terms of delivery on a case-by-case basis.

After the initial arrangements were complete, I chose the members of my team with skills most pertinent to the mission at hand; myself, for speaking fluent Russian and handing over the documents themselves to each party; and Ellen, for required security should the two of us find ourselves in any trouble. We did not anticipate any such thing, but one can never be too careful, hm? Clearly.

On Monday, July 21st we left home base for Miss Annalee's reported location in [REDACTED] in the middle of nowhere. The place was a dilapidated shack and we spent very little time there; Miss Annalee provided me with what she assured us was her side of the exchange. Obviously, later it was discovered that there had been some deception, and this explains the uneasy feeling between myself, Ellen, Miss Annalee and her companion, Danny Cypress.

Once that was done, Ellen and I boarded a plane for Moscow, arriving in the city on the morning of Tuesday, July 22nd. We followed the specific instructions given to us on how to reach Mr. Incognito's current location, and were invited in less than warmly to see him. Security precautions were clearly tight, and Mr. Incognito himself appeared to be greatly injured. We simultaneously handed over each part of the exchange, and then Ellen and I left. There was no fanfare for a job well done.

We spent a great deal more time in Moscow than we intended, enjoying our time in a country neither of us is likely to return to soon.

On Wednesday, July 23rd, it was revealed in one of Mr. Incognito's posts on Endless Corners that the documents given to us by Miss Annalee were falsified, lacking the agreed upon contents they were intended to have. Miss Annalee swears in one of her posts on It's Days Are Numbered that she will explain in due time. Damage control efforts were made on our part, but very little could be done besides defending our own actions from criticism. This seems to have worked in our favor. In the future, Rain or Snow services will endeavor to prevent this kind of thing from happening, if at all possible. It's being looked into.

We have chosen to withhold Mr. Incognito's side of the delivery from Miss Annalee, since her end of the bargain was technically withheld as well. It will be kept for our records unless Mr. Incognito comes forward to request it's destruction or that we hand it back over. Until such time, our mission is complete.

It has now been slightly more than one week since our first mission began. Ellen and I arrived back at our home base late on Monday, July 28th. End mission report.

Base requirements

It's raining. Nobody's dead. I'm not a good Den Mother. News at 10.

Flying sucks

Ellen here. Malcolm and I are on our first delivery, as he mentioned in his last post. It has been exactly as dull as you'd expect. We stopped by Anna's shack in the middle of nowhere, didn't even get asked inside, then drove several hours, only to get on a plane and take a long ass flight. Flying from the US to fucking Russia is one of the single most boring and frustrating experiences in my life. Like most people involved in this sort of mess, being stuck in a small space with no viable exits is one of my least favorite experiences in the world. The fact that I wasn't allowed to be armed didn't help. Stupid airport security.

Though, it's totally possible to trick that with a ceramic knife. Not that I did that, of course. Malcolm would have been upset at me for putting the delivery at risk. But theoretically, if one were wearing tall boots and stuck a ceramic knife in them, it wouldn't show up on the scanner. Good tip for runners and proxies alike if you get stuck on a plane and you think you might need to defend yourself. I'm not actually saying I did this, of course, or endorsing it because that's crazy illegal and I don't want to show up on some watch list somewhere for saying shit on a blog.

In any event the two of us (completely unarmed, of course) got off the plane a few hours ago. Now, I was tired and wanted to stop off for a nap and possibly some vodka (when in Rome, after all), but Malcolm just handed me a cup of coffee and insisted on heading straight over to our crazy Russian boys. That was about the point I lost track of what was going on. I don't speak Russian, which is why Mal came along on the job in the first place. As far as I know, he's the only one on the team that does.

What I do know is that the moment we knocked we were greeted by a very angry looking guy with a gun, and another, injured guy (I'm guessing that was Incognito himself?) holding a bigger gun. I understand being cautious about who you allow in, but guns in the face feels a bit excessive when you know you're expecting company. There was yelling, but it was in Russian, so I'm not sure what was said. Malcolm greeted this with his signature reptilian cool and replied, which thankfully resulted in the guns being set aside for the moment. Mal did the swap, Incognito handed over a hard drive, and then the angry guy shoved his gun in our face again, which I took to be our cue to go

I told Mal that there was no way I was getting back on the plane for at least another twelve hours, so we've been taking in the sights and enjoying the local alcohol. I never had such an appreciation for vodka before. Their beer is pretty fantastic too. I should get some sleep, though, it's crazy late here and I've got another flight in the morning. Ellen out.

Officially Open for Business

As should be obvious, the entire team has posted.

It is my hope that this post makes clear what our goals and our terms of service are.

And now, we have our very first mission. An exchange delivery between two parties incapable of making the trip to see each other of their own accord. They lack the resources, so it is our job to assist them.

And they are fairly well known, too, not just to us and the offline community but to all of those who follow the blogging side of out community. Miss Annalee of It's Days are Numbered and Mr. Incognito of Endless Corners require us to make the exchange for them. Due to the nature of the exchange, I will not be making public exactly what this transaction entails. However, as a general report of business, I can say that this initial delivery will be made by myself and Ellen alone. We intend to visit Miss Annalee first and obtain her end of the transaction, then to fly to Russia to deliver it and obtain Mr. Incognito's side of things for the former.

There isn't much else to be said, so far as I see it. This is a simple exchange and I have not been alerted to any threats outside of the ordinary by either client at this time. There will, at some point, be a home base update on this blog while Ellen and I are away. Maritza will provide this update so that I may simply check the blog to be aware of the status of my inactive team members while away. Either Ellen or myself shall be writing a status update partway through our mission, to ensure that our team is aware of our safety and the completion of the delivery.

I wish you all a good evening.

-Malcolm

Sleep is for other people.

You can call me Mari, Maritza, Cipher, Sola, what have you. I will be avoiding being called "Doc" out of respect and wanting less confusion with someone who went before. My specialty is psychology, but I am a reasonable medic when needed. I'll be patching people around here up if they need it.

I feel sure they will.

...Malcolm pulled me into this little group due to a past association, and I agreed because I needed some clothes that fit properly and some replacement glasses.

If you need me, message me. If not, I'll be working on a few things. If nothing else, it's nice to be able to organize stuff a bit.

Zch mjngxjrx wydjn fwnumoij, lwx H's ire pihtb wz mi hz. Vodx, qd tzho vckq. Di lwsntz fzvyr oiwz vs qujp hrngupw anllonvtxh, snzb hrfk vmrmjvke bhe qcs cdws j mguqhw. Ouhx rdcwcmm.

I Was Made To Write This

Don't ask us about:

Gloom of night
Proxies
Tall, Dark and Slender
Proxies, again

With that out of the way, Ellen's beaten me to the punch on declaring this a bad idea, but at least it's a bad idea I'm getting paid for before it goes tits up. Malc's house, although it's more of a mansion thing, is also very nice. Running water and working electricity and aircon and central heating. This gets five stars on Runner Yelp.

The guy is so loaded I'm surprised he doesn't leak money as he walks.

So all in all, it's a bit of a cushy number here, although the fact we have a proxy on board kinda freaks me out a little. No offense, Ivan. You're just really creepy.

Introductions! I'm Jeresy, yes with an s, no last name given, and I've been hired as a getaway driver for the new Couriers, on account of Malc seeing my skills in action and being surprisingly understanding for a guy who lost money to them and also knowing how to lean on a man re: not going to prison.

Now if you'll excuse me, the fully stocked fridge is calling my name.

Formalities

You'll forgive me if this post is short. The nonsensical folly that plagued the previous set of Couriers is something which I have little patience for. If we are to survive, we must endeavor to be more professional, to conduct ourselves as carefully as is possible. As the employer in this arrangement, I feel it is my duty to act in a manner which protects not only myself but my team from any and all harm. Foolish risk-taking will not be tolerated, and the business of supply-running will be my primary focus.

As to that, I said before that I would explain more thoroughly the terms of our operation, and here we are.

To contact us, simply send an email to the address rainorsnowservices@gmail.com. Useful information to consider including in your email is as follows:

-Your name, your location, and means of contacting you(if you are uncomfortable sharing any of this information via email, we can discuss alternative modes of contact for this.)

-whatever threatens you(this refers to the specific Fear troubling you, as well as any other enemies, such as Fear worshipers, or lesser supernatural entities)

-what it is you would like delivered(we have considerable resources, as stated before. We can and will discuss accommodations for the delivery. If it turns out that what you need delivered is not within our means, we can discuss alternative modes of assisting you in acquiring the thing yourself.)

-who you would like the delivery made to(if it so happens that you are attempting to have something sent to someone else, whether from us to them or you to them, this also can be arranged.)

We deliver to anyone in need. This includes those referred to as "runners", those referred to as "proxies", and anyone between the two labels or otherwise. The Rain or Snow service is not discriminatory. Our goal is to lessen the stress and suffering felt by those who's lives have been touched by the Fears. It is well documented that even those who serve them suffer greatly. So our team will answer requests from any and everyone.

Having said that, it is true what Ellen said in her post, that we will not be endangering ourselves for the purpose of rescue missions. If we put ourselves in harm's way, it is for the purpose of providing other's with the means to get themselves out of harm's way. We will not do it for you. If we die, we can not longer provide our service, and that is entirely antithetical to the point of this whole thing.

We will also not be charging any money for this service, again, as Ellen pointed out before. I have the wealth to continue doing business for a considerable amount of time, and so we do not require payment. Donations of all kinds are welcome, of course, but unnecessary if none can be provided.

These are the facts. The terms of our operation are quite clear now, I hope. If there are any questions, they may be left in the comment section, or sent to our email. Again, that's rainorsnowservices@gmail.com. One of us will surely answer as promptly as possible.

-Malcolm

Ivan, the 'Also the Muscle'

Master keep me, Fire guide me, 
I charge forward to fight the foe just beyond me,
For if I don't strike they'll find and consume me.

Vast Barren Silence, hear me. My light will expunge thee.

This compulsion compels me so they'll know how to resist ye.
And thus I write.

Fos tin Katharí





I bet you were excited to see a normal title. One that isn't a number or as insanely dapper as 'the is a bad idea.'

I bet you groaned hard when you saw the weird prayer thing that followed.

Hello.  I am Ivan Impronounceable and I live in a fantasy.

And before any of you fuckers try to correct me, I know Impronounceable isn't a word. It similarly isn't my last name. My last name is unpronounceable. So I don't bother. But I still like to have one. So I changed it to what it is. Unpronounceable. But I still want it to act like a last name with funny spelling. Because last names are supposed to be weird and shit.

So its Impronounceable. Got it?
Your silence is a yes.

I would always like $20. I'll come by to mug you all for it later or something.

I'm gonna assume you read the last post, Ellen's post. Working directly off of that, I want to start upfront (Well, middle section at this point I guess) with this. I am the team proxy.

More than that, I am one of Fracture's Finest of the Fire Cult. He references me here.

For the record, I am not wearing that dress. I'm not into that anymore, much to the disappoint of one or more of my new comrades it would seem. You know who you are. You've earned yourself an emote!   -_-'

So ha! Not gonna happen. 

Moving on,
I've been a proxy since I was ten. Since I was eight if you count the training. Since as long as I can remember if you count my Father's home training program. I wouldn't though. The son of a bitch just like to beat me. Not that I care anymore. Hes dead now. My sister killed him.

I like to think it has something to do with the abuse and I've actually heard a lot of theories as to why it may be over the years but I've never sought counseling or medication over it so there's no telling, but I'm schizophrenic. I hear things. Even see things. Things I've long since discerned to not be real. Or, at the very least not real enough to matter. 

This is such an odd world. When I first started seeing things I thought I might be special, like I had a power or something. But no. Turns out I'm just crazy.

And that's were the living in a fantasy thing comes from. A lot of the things I see and hear, aren't real. Like when my hand starts talking to me. Thats not real.

I use to have a hard time telling the difference but I've got it down pretty good now. I've learned the norm... more less.

At the very least I have two tired and true fact to fall back on. I don't know why they're true but they just are true. 

1.No hallucination of anyone or thing I've already met or scene is ever perfect. There is always something visually wrong with them.
2. No hallucinated voice ever seems to share or accurately imitate a voice I've already heard.

These two truths have allowed me to function, even with how dangerous and high risk my job has. These truths also keep me from hurting those around me. Although they don't always protect me from myself...



Enough rambling about me. Let me take one final moment to ramble about my role in the Couriers. 

As Ellen previous stated, shes the muscle. Its her title. Ellen, the Muscle.

And so now I dub myself. 
I am Ivan, the 'Also the Muscle'.
Sorry if the post's title spoiled that for you.

I'm another set of muscle. Proxy Muscle. Where Ellen favors knives, I'm a hand to hand specialist. I've mastered CQC, a mix of various martial arts, and some wresting. I've also got some boxing under my belt but I prefer a bit of finesse when I kill and subdue shit. Not that boxing doesn't have finesse to it, mind you. It just has less than I would like.

So that... or uh this I guess, is me. I am Ivan.

Please to meet you.